Role Reversals in Pakistan

[Hemast]

SUKAINA TAQUI, a Pakistani Girl, writes in `The Globalist' (http://www.theglobalist.com/DBWeb/StoryId.aspx?StoryId=4882)thus:

" As a teenager growing up in Pakistan, I would hear all too frequently from my parents: “You know, the rules are different since you are a girl.” This was a common refrain and a statement that gave blanket justification for preventing my girlfriends and I from doing all sorts of things that our guy friends were allowed to do.
The latter, for example, were allowed to stay out till the wee hours of the morning. They were allowed to drive without an adult driver being always present. They were allowed to go to the beach unsupervised — and the list of fun goes on. My girlfriends and I subconsciously accepted these limitations applied to most of us without questioning. Those were simply the boundaries that were imposed upon us by birth.
Evidently, this accepting attitude and our submissive position in society led to difficulties later on. It was especially true when the time came for college. Some of my girlfriends had to make comprises related to the ‘rule’ — and were not allowed to pursue higher education in the United Kingdom or the United States.
In an ironic twist of history, however, young men in my society have had to compromise as well. They were forced to do so not because of parental or societal restrictions, but due to rules imposed from the outside.

Acquiring student visas
Terrorism and terrorist activity by radical Muslims has created a sense of unease in the West, which has translated to increased limitation on the freedom of travel that males of a certain demographic in the Muslim world used to have.
Since 9/11, it has become increasingly difficult for young men to get F1 Visas (student visas) for colleges in the United States. Comparatively, for women it is relatively easier. It appears that parents are now more concerned about sending their sons to college than their daughters.

A patriarchal society
It is difficult to predict what the consequences of such a role reversal will be and whether this will eventually lead to the same extreme controls placed on my male peers as is common. It is also not known whether this will now permit women to step into the vacuum and go abroad for higher education or if the restrictions placed on Pakistani citizens abroad will catalyze our government into improving access and funding for the education sector. These are questions that will not be answered over night, but rather will gradually displace traditional views in society.
The Islamic Republic of Pakistan was created in 1947 and to this day it is a patriarchal society. This attitude is ingrained in our culture and women are generally believed to occupy a less privileged position in society. As an outsider, I lived abroad from the day I was born and moved back to Pakistan when I was 12 years old.
The hierarchy was especially apparent to me. It was difficult for me to reconcile my Westernized values and liberties with the confines of society that were superimposed on my actions. I could not understand why I was unable to wear shorts outside the house or why I could not go cycling with the boys.

Taming girls
The ayahs, or nannies, who were always present when we were children, would always emphasize how important it was to behave like young ladies at all times. In particular, we were not to shock traditional views and cultural norms that they were always afraid that one of us would upset. When such a moment would arise, they would shout with a disappointed look on their faces, “What will people say!” To which my response would always be “What can people say?”
Now, as I have matured over the years, I realize that Pakistan is still a largely traditional society with greater emphasis on personal views, where it is very easy to form disapproving opinions of others. But now, as I watch my nine-year-old sister grow up in this same society, I see the truth of the myopic views people have.
I grew up in the city of Karachi, which is one of the largest cities in Pakistan. Coming from a moderately conservative home, I went to an all girls' school, which was run by missionary Catholic nuns. These lovely ladies strived on taming girls who came from wealthy diverse backgrounds and they definitely took the meaning of discipline to different levels.
Now that I look back, I am proud of the qualities they embedded in me, since they never differentiated between man and woman and felt women though were just as or even more capable than their male counterparts.
When the time came to apply to college, I knew I was in for a difficult battle. On the other hand, I am the eldest in my family and I didn’t have any older female cousins who had been to college in the United States before me. But I was sure my parents were not mentally prepared to send me thousand of miles away to pursue my educational goals by myself.

A difficult battle
While going through the application process, I had to constantly explain everything to them step by step. In that process, they could learn more about the college experience in the United States. If I was a boy, I know they would have been less hesitant as they were with me. They were keen on sending me to the United Kingdom, since it is closer to home and they go there often.
But I wanted the proper all-American college campus experience, so I decided to fight this one out. I have a sister who is a year younger than me and the compromise that my parents and I finally came to was that I would have to wait a year and my sister and I would go to college together.

Traveling difficulties
They felt content at the fact that my sister and I had each other all the way in the United States and in that one year, when I had to stay back home they could come to terms with the fact that we would be leaving home and things would possibly never be the same again.
And now, here I am in my senior year in the United States, while my younger brother is back home applying to colleges.
Great deal of things have changed for my brother and other young men in Pakistan. They will have to face a battle, but one of a different sort. My parents are reluctant and nervous to send him to the United Kingdom or the United States since the terrorist acts — especially those of 9/11 in New York City and 7/7 in London — have in some ways raised prejudice against Muslim men. He has been to London more than 50 times in his life but now when such an important step has to be taken for his future there is skepticism. Recent visa issues make traveling so much more difficult. Even if he gets admitted to a university, there is a good chance that he might not get the student visa from the U.S. embassy that is required.

A lengthy process
To get a student visa is a two-month process where teenagers have to fly to Islamabad and stand in line outside a special section at the American Embassy for hours. Women get their visas in couple of weeks, but each man, has to go through a lengthy check — and when they do reject the visa, no explanation is given. At this moment, I personally know three of my male friends who were denied access to the United States for no logical explanation.
In a strange way now, my male counterparts back home in Pakistan are beginning to realize that the easy life is over and that it is actually a hard world out there. My brother is facing similar problems as I did when I was applying to college — but his restraints are completely different.

Crossing borders
The question that now arises is where men from Pakistan, the Middle East and Saudi Arabia will go to acquire degrees from foreign universities. Australia and Singapore have received a higher influx of foreign students since the United States and the United Kingdom have closed their doors to many male applicants, metaphorically speaking.
Terrorism has affected everyone in some ways or the other and it is tragic how it has the potential of touching so many lives. Will Pakistan now spend more on higher education for men? It definitely should.
I will end with an amusing thought: How about in ten years time, only Pakistani women get to go abroad to pursue their college degree, while men have to stay home and study in their own home country. Ha! Revenge on patriarchy! "