Being good versus being nice

[Bang_Ali]

This is really in reply to Mr burns’ comment (in ms boreds thread http://www.bangladesh.com/forums/sho...hreadid=15564) questioning the “goodness” in my heart because I don’t show any evidence of it. Samya said that I had a good heart, which true or not shows that she is willing to give someone the benefit of doubt which actually says more about her than me.

But I think that the distinction between being nice and being good should be made. If you want to be good then you can't always be nice.

But it really doesn’t matter to me whether anyone likes me or not, I'm not here to make friends. I give my opinions and views to people as they are, without diluting them.

I'm not one of those people that goes around thinking one thing and saying something else to people in case I upset anyone, there are too many of those ass-kissers around. I don’t p*ssy-foot about anything. What's the point of tip-toeing around the truth?

If I don’t like something about someone then why should I hide it? Especially if they're prepared to come onto the web and talk about themself (I'm not referring to anyone specifically here). Nobody forces anyone to come onto this forum, thats the beauty of this place. Its my right to have opinions and I definitely have plenty.

It’s people that don’t tell others when they are doing something wrong that cause of more problems in the long-term. I'm sure these people (commonly known as do-gooders) mean well, but they don’t look at the cause-effects relationships. They have no belief in their opinions or they're too weak to say anything.

Every time one of my mates did something that I thought they shouldn’t do, I told them straight out that they are wrong to do that. Sometimes we fell out over this, but I still told them anyway.

Now when I see them (8-10years later), they are either fathers to illegitimate children, drug addicts/dealers, sectioned, have a criminal record or dead. Those i see now say to me "if only I listened" while I reply "yes I know, but theres nothing you can do to change things"

Some guys I knew got into a car and drove home while they were drunk, their “friends” were too nice to tell them to not drive.

They all died, it could’ve been prevented if only someone was prepared to say what they should've said. If someone told them to wear their seatbelts. I know each person is responsible for themself but still I think you have a duty to make sure those around you are capable of making an informed decision about what they are about to do. This happened in Leeds.

A girl I knew was sleeping around behind her husbands back, she used to hold dirty parties when her husband was away working. She used to get drunk/stoned etc and ended up getting pregnant by some shada guy. For obvious reasons her husband found out and divorced her. Now she is bringing up a child (of unknown origin) on her own and living a life of misery. Her friends knew what she was like and still said nothing. I'm still here, where are those friends? -Nowhere to be seen. These are light-weight people with no responsibility or back-bone.

I make judgments about people and tell them what I think they need to know, not what they want to hear. Why do people only like you when you tell them lies, when you tell them want they want. Regardless whether its right or wrong.

I will continue to speak my mind and don’t mind taking the criticism. I always take responsibility for my actions whereas the do-gooders seem to fade away when things go wrong. But I'm always here to take what comes.

So I'd rather not be nice or liked, but I'm always gonna tell people what I think. It’s what a good friend would do, I'd be dishonest not to. Its one thing for someone to do wrong because they know and yet want to (thats their decision) but its different if they havent thought it through or are unaware of possible consequences.

I know I may have used some extreme examples, but do you see the point I'm making?