Muhram ' Dahabi - ...? (marriage stuff)

[Bang_Ali]

Originally posted by Ms-Bored

i mean if the worst thing happened... he gets his passport etc, etc, i would be alone again...

...i have my loving family, i have my own house, i have my own car, i would have a job or get a job... i would stil have my sh1tty passport...lol

if i have kids they would be with me...

i dont think my life would be that doomed or misreble... he would have more to lose!! dont u think?? i would prolly get the daggers from the bengali community but at the end of the day they can chat as much as they like... do i care.. NO!

Well he'd get his passport which wouldn't make him a loser in his eyes, if he's the kind of guy thats after a passport only.

You'd be left bringing up kids, they'd be the true victims here. I'll have to say that if things did go wrong, then ultimately the fault would lie between you and/or your man.

The kids are always the truly innocent ones, yet they suffer the most when things go wrong.

The community will also think differently of you too. The idea would be that if you got divorced once, then it maybe because of bad luck etc, but to be divorced twice they'd think you're either really ****ed up and can't stay married or that you and your family are silly and can't pick right guys for you.

I always say that marriage is the biggest change in life, which it probably is. Not to be taken lightly or entered into willy nilly (pun intended here )

No offence but you sound like your abit confused and muddled at times. You need to be clear on this before you get into another marriage again.

Marry in haste, repent at leisure.

[Ms-Bored]

hi, i kind of know what im going, and it is right that i am very cofused!! but what can i do to change this... words are always easier than action...

...my family is already having problems wth Saeed's big brother in London...he's going back on his words like he doesnt want to give the £5k deposit we asked for and now my mother said to cancel the wedding planed 25april to the summer like planned originally!! including the regstry and nika at the same tiime!!!

also my mum gave me the option to get married to saeed and have the "honeymoon" in manchester hotel for a couple of days... lol

the reason Saeed's big bro is doing our head in is cos, with short notice in liverpool we cant find a Function Venue hall... these Gora's booked at least 2yrs in advance for wedding's and there christening parties so with short notice its hopless!!! sh1t man!!!!

also his big bro is having problems coughing up the money but isnt having problems trying to hire a big coach to bring ppl irrelvet to this wedddig from london to liverpool!!! thats why my family is a bit p'ed off!!!

another thing i herd from my babhi in manc who reconmended saeed who hates his big bro is that he doest want to work and wants to eat up his 2 younger bro's hard erned cash including saeed ad get fat!!! apratetly all the money Saeed and Ali akbar his younger bro earned used to deposit in his big bro's account as "safe keeping" cos they dont have accounts (freshi reasons) he wasted it all!!!

if its like this at the mo... imagin later!! whats gonna happen???

Ms. Bored
x x x x x

[Bang_Ali]

No, I wouldn't say "I told you so". Usually when it comes to the stage when you can say that, it's too late and no good can come of it.

I've had alot of experience dealing with scum bags and I suggest you read this very carefully. I'm going to lay down some basic facts which i'd like you to consider. They are quite bare and cold, but true?

I know your weddings coming up soon, but its not too late, not untill you say "qabul". You sound abit confused and I hope what I say won't add to your confusion, rather clear things things up for you. At the end of the day, its your life and you must decide whats best for you.

People like Saeeds brother are leeches who never keep their word. You can't trust them with anything. People who dont keep their word are like vermin, worthless.

To illegally come to the UK and have a sham marriage for immigration purposes will cost you around £ 10-15k

Think about how much Saeeds family will spend in total at your wedding and you will see that it is not that less than the price of a passport.

Have you seriously considered that you may be nothing more than a passport for him to remain in the uk full time? I know that Saedd has been recommended by your bhabi, but is she somehow related to him?

There are always people encoraging you to do things, but these people will seem to fade when things go wrong.

I know that my life wont affect yours or yours affect mine but I wouldn't want you (or anyone else) to have to go through any unpleasant experiences.

I know that this sounds like an awful thing to say, but Ive seen so many of theses "nice guys" showing their real selves after they become fully legalised.

I know we've had our differences, but when it comes to matters like this, I'd like to think you'd listen to what I say rather than tarring everything I say with the same brush. I don't always "chat a lot of sh1t"