virginity

[Bang_Ali]

Originally posted by Mahbuba
I said, I was forced to have sex, Rubbish...but I didn't know what the hell I was doing, since I was only 8 years old. He or they were forcing me to have it without my consent of knowing what was going on to even get my consent to have sex with me or not. I don't call that rape, I call it child abuse.

Well the rabbish has a point. Child abuse is the worst form of sexual assault you can get where the victim doesrnt even realise whats happening.

[Mahbuba]

Okay Rubbish was right, I don't know what rape means. Maybe I was raped. But, what I had learned from school, the terminology rape was what I had explained to RUBBISH.

[rajali]

mahbuba, i feel simpathy for u for an incident happened long ago.

[rajali]

virginity is a feeling only. I think physically untouched is not verginity. it is just an honest feelings.

[Sandy]

Originally Posted by Mahbuba

who is a virgin?

if this is too personal, forget about it, don't answer.

i know i'm not a virgin because i was forced to have sex instead of wanting it. =0(

I am awfully sorry........ Wish you would try and forget all about it. Just look ahead and lets be happy to be alive and for the fact that we have friends....
Sandy

[Anika]

Originally Posted by Mahbuba

I just wanted to tell you b.commers this because I don't know, I know I will never get to see you, and if I do tell you, you will tell me your honest opinion.



At the age of 6, 7, and 8, I don't know what else I would call it without knowing what's going inside of me, as in the 4 different guys' penis (sorry for the terminology).

Bang_Ali, I wouldn't consider it rape, it's abusement which a little girl didn't know what it was. I will still call it sexual abuse, I don't think I would call it a rape. Rape is when you are forced to do something that you don't want to do. I was forced to do it, but I didn't know what 'he' was doing, that's all.
I don't think I could had done anything at that age, because then all the parents will gather around and call me crazy. These 4 boys knew that I was a shy girl and I wouldn't open my mouth to anything.
Around the year 1987 and 88, I think everyone in my family would have kept everything on a hush hush point.

I told my counselor this at the age of 9 and again at the age of 12 in my junior high school, but they weren't going to help, because my mom was like "tauba tauba, sis sis, itha kitha mathos, thui amar furi nai"...something of that sort.

I went to Bangladesh and saw 2 of my cousins who did that to me when I was young, and I felt like smacking them, but I didn't say anything because, "why say now, when it happened long ago, and I don't have proof of it, who will believe me?"

Just remember Bang_Ali, the things that happened to me, happens to thousands of little girls in Bangladesh, without any hesitation.

SnoOp, how can you have "mates" who had done it to other girls? You shouldn't consider them your mates then. Only if you want to. Not my problem.

Sweetiepie83, it's already too late. I was 6,7, and 8 then, and now I am 23 years old. If I open my mouth now, nothing will happen. Everyone will stare at me, and no one will believe me.

And, "yes" I was talking about that in the "adultry" section. I did ask Allah to forgive them, because I know Allah will forgive me becuase it wasn't my fault.

Anyway, guys and girls, if someone physically abused or sexually abused one of children, what actions will you take?

The reason my mom and i didn't take any actions because of SOCIETY. Society is within all of us. And, I hate that sh1t. If I have a child and if she or he was abused, I would get him arrested and let the law see what should be done with him and ask Allah for mercy.

=0/

I am so sorry that this happened, that your childhood was taken away in such a cruel way and worse that you didn't feel like anyone would believe you or support you, I know most Bengali people are taught to ignore these things especially if it happens within the family in order to keep extended family peace, idiots!.

I've felt the frustration that type of situation can cause. Though nothing happened to me I do remember last time I went to BD I had a little cousin who really hated one of my dad's cousin. Everyone used to think it so cute or funny how she would refuse to be in the same room or talk to him. I don't know if anything serious ever happened but as far as my little cousin told me, and she was very confortable with me so i think she told me everything, she said he just made her very uncomfortable and teased her too much or tickled her and she hated it. I was really worried since if this was my child or I was there always I would make sure that if someone made her uncomfortable, I don't care if the other person really did something or not, I would not make them talk to them or things like that.

I approached my aunts and let them know how strongly she felt about it and this was when I was extremely worried that maybe somehting sorese did happen, and they actually laughed and said not to worry she just doesn't like him because he teases her. I told them that fine, doesn't matter, they shouldn't make her say hi or let that man tease her, they should talk to him, he's a freakin adult, and tell him to behave better. My aunts are truely loving individuals and if they were told something happened they would take action but they all have a mental block where unless it's in your face and very blaten they wouldn't do something or if the child was uncomfortable the idea was, ooohh they'll get over it.

That just really bugged me because I was surprise I didn't see worry on their face right away, because I know any parent growing up here is usually way more vigilent then that. Bengali society in most part has taken a blind eye to thinks like that and the danger is in the fact that when there are signs they will miss it or they will be in self denial while they could actually be helping the child.