JOKES FOR FUN

[LoveBird]

Wanna have Fun?
See Open Board For " Jokes For Fun"
Enjoy and feel free to post your jokes.
Love Bird.

[LoveBird]

Paint Job
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A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

[LoveBird]

Wanna have more jokes?
Visit Open Board...

[LoveBird]

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3 Bras
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A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's, one of the largest department store chains. He shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said. 'I'd like to buy a bra for my wife'

'What type of bra?' asked the clerk.

'Type?' inquires the man 'There is more than one type?'

'Look Around,' said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size color and material.

'Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only three types of bras,' replied the salesclerk.

Confused, the man asked what were the types.

The saleslady replied 'The Catholic type, the, Salvation Army type, and the Baptist type. Which one do you need?'

Still confused the man asked 'What is the difference between them?'

The lady responded 'It is all really quite simple. The Catholic type supports the masses, the Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen, and the and the Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills.

[LoveBird]

Lesson in Sales
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An woman walks into the butcher shop just before closing. She says, "Thank Heavens I've made it in time! Have you any chicken?" The butcher opens his fridge and takes out his only chicken, and plops it onto the scale. It weighs 2 1/2 pounds.

"Ah, haven't you anything bigger?" the woman inquires.

The butcher returns the chicken to the fridge, takes it out again, and plops it onto the scale, only this time, he keeps his thumb on the chicken. The scale shows 3 1/4 pounds.

"Marvelous!" says the woman. "I'll have both of them please."

[Anita]

Lovebird your good!!! he he he, there are so many versions of the one about the porch!!

[Anita]

Jimmy had been hearing loud bumping noises coming from his parents room for the last 3 or 4 nights. The next night , the noises started again, so he goes to investigate.
Quietly opening his parents bedroom door, he see's his mother bouncing up and down on his father. Quietly, he slips back to bed. The next morning,Jimmy asks his mom why she was bouncing up and down on dads stomach. Mom thinks for a minute , then tells Jimmy it's part of a new diet plan to help dad lose weight.
Jimmy then replies" I don't think it will work mom". Mom asks Jimmy why not! "Because every morning when you leave for work, Mrs. Jones from next door comes over and blows daddy back up!"