JOKES FOR FUN

[Anita]

he he he he thats a good one Lovebird!!!

[IRONMAN]

Originally posted by LoveBird


The little boy replies, "The President is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored, and the Future is in deep poop."

LOVEBIRD, IT IS REALLY A NICE SELECTION. GOOD. KEEP IT UP.

[LoveBird]

Our First Anniversary

The other day while driving home, after being delayed at my
office, I suddenly saw flashing lights in my rearview mirror. The
police officer pulled me over for speeding.

I explained to him that I was rushing home to be with my wife on
our first anniversary.

But rather than letting me off, he wrote out the ticket, handed it
to me, and said, "Congratulations. The first year is paper, right?"

[LoveBird]

"Your honor, " explained the young man, "I'd like to get
married, please."

"All right, what is your age?"

"I'm 22, sir."

"And the age of the bride?"

"She's 15, sir."

"15? That's too young! Marrying you would be against the law!"

"I see, " said the young man. "Could you try explaining
that to the fella next to her with the shotgun?"

[LoveBird]

A man who absolutely hated his wife's cat decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him
at the park.

As he was nearing home, the cat was walking up the driveway.

The next day, he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away and try the same thing.

As we was driving back into his driveway, there was the cat! He kept taking the cat farther and farther away, but the darn cat would always beat him home.

At last, he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right and so on until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and he left the cat there.

Hours later, the man calls home to his wife: "Jen, is the cat there?"

"Yes," the wife answers. "Why do you ask?"

Frustrated, the man answers: "Put that damn cat on the phone. I'm lost and I need directions!"

[LoveBird]

As two boys were passing the church, the minister leaned over the wall and showed them a ball.
"Is this yours?" he asked.
"Did it do any damage?" asked one of the boys.
"No," replied the minister.
"Then it's mine," came the reply.

[LoveBird]

A millionaire informs his attorney, "I want a stipulation in my will that my wife is to inherit everything, but only if she remarries within six months of my death."

"Why such an odd stipulation?" asks the attorney.

"Because," he says, "I want someone to be sorry I died."