JOKES FOR FUN

[LoveBird]

Thanks a lot Anita for sharing your jokes with us.

[Anita]

Hey Lovebird....just looks like it's you and me sista....or is it brova, please don't get offended by that it's just that i don't really know anyone here!

[LoveBird]

Looks like we are the only one!

[LoveBird]

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is Politics?" Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the head of the family, so call me The President. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the People. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now think about that and see if it makes sense."

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now."
The father says, "Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."

The little boy replies, "The President is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored, and the Future is in deep poop."

[LoveBird]

Who Runs the Human Body?
In the human body, which organ is in charge?
All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was in charge.

The brain said: "I should be in charge, because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."
"I should be in charge," said the heart, "because I pump the blood and circulate oxygen all over the body, so without me you'd all waste away."

"I should be in charge," said the stomach, "because I process food and give all of you energy."

"I should be in charge," said the rectum, "because I'm responsible for waste removal."

All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight. Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, and the blood was toxic.

Eventually the other organs gave in. They all agreed that the rectum should be the boss.

The moral of the story?
You don't have to be smart or important to be in charge... just an ass hole (rectum).

[LoveBird]

LOST IN THE PARK:

A police car pulls up in front of grandma Bessie's house, and
grandpa Morris gets out.
The polite policeman explained that this elderly gentleman said
that he was lost in the park and couldn't find his way home.

"Oh Morris", said grandma, "You've been going to that park for
over 30 years! So how could you get lost ? "

Leaning close to grandma, so that the policeman couldn't hear.
Morris whispered, "Lost I wasn't.....I was just too tired to walk
home."

[LoveBird]

Blonde Buys a TV
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A blonde goes into an appliance store looking for a TV. After a few minutes, she picks one out and approaches the salesman. "I want to buy this television," she says.
The salesman replies, "Sorry, we don't serve blondes here." She gets mad, leaves and goes home.
She dyes her hair brown and returns to the store. "I want to buy this television." she says to the salesman, getting the same response; "Sorry miss, we don't serve blondes here." She leaves again, frustrated.
She goes home and proceeds to shave her head, eyebrows and all, leaving no visible trace of blonde hair on her head. Upon returning to the store, she once again approaches the salesman. "Sir, I would like to purchase this television, and I don't want any problems." To which the salesman
replies, "Sorry Miss, we don't serve blondes." Fed up with this, she cries, "How can you tell that I am blonde? I have dyed my hair and even resorted to shaving my head!" To which the salesman replied, "Well, Miss, that television you are trying to buy is a microwave!"