getting married in the very early age is difficult to comprehand at each other!

[timmy]

hello everybody
how are guys doing.if you ask me,i'm miserable.now a days, people get marriage in the vary early age ,and get devorce.what you guys think about it.
please1 put your valuable opinion on it.

[koyes]

People in the past got married early in the past as well but their marriage survived. PPls mentality has changed, ppl have become more self centered and materialistic. Women going to the work place has has really ruined the family structure, they hardly get to bring up their kids. But when they do come home they are too tired to talk to their childrens and try to overcompensate by buying expensive presents.

At work place you get to meet ppl of opposite sex who have common goals and interest. Since you have chosen the same career, your bound to have common attributes. It times of demestic turmoil it is natural to turn to ppl who are similar to you because they understand you better.

Work is very stressful, it takes ppl couple of hours to unwind after coming home. If both spouses work, they gonna be on a pissed of mood at the same time. A dangerous cocktail for a heated argument. It could be over something very simple.


In the west and more recently in the East women are conditoned to believe they are worthless unless they have a career. Motherhood is completely devalued. OK sometimes a lady may need to work beacuse a single income is insufficient, but it is better to have a less materialistic and more stable lifestyle.

Originally posted by timmy:
hello everybody
how are guys doing.if you ask me,i'm miserable.now a days, people get marriage in the vary early age ,and get devorce.what you guys think about it.
please1 put your valuable opinion on it.

[Pacific]

Timmy, why are you miserable?
Nice, I enjoyed reading that koyes.

When two people fall in love, they tend to get married. But, love many times blinds a person to the truth about the other person. When people are in love, they tend to be very nice to each other and rarely see the other side of the person they are about to marry. This other side can surface after the marriage and ends up in divorces. Another thing is that when a child is young and sees fighting between parents, they tend to adopt that and this adaptation surfaces when older. If a child’s parents have a divorce, they will most likely end up having one even if the child at a young age promises to him/herself that she will never do to his/her kids what his/her parents have done to him/her.
http://www.geocities.com/sabs2379/samourai.gif http://www.geocities.com/sabs2379/SSgenjurostand.gif


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Hmmmmmm........
Close your eyes, I'll take you away from this pain.....

Pacific Your Enemies, I’ll take em to their knees.

[Shilpa]

Hmm interesting viewpoints. Koyes some women do work and still manage to bring up their kids. Me and my brother have had quite a stable upbringing and both my parents have been in full time employment ever since we were young. When we were really little my gran or the next door neighbour used to babysit but mum and dad would come home at 5 anyway so normally by the time we got home, watched a bit of tv both parents would get back and mum would start cooking the evening meal. I think in certain cases you could revolve work around a family as my mum did.

People who normally say women can't handle two things at once are wrong. At the end of the day its really up to the individuals, a woman who can not handle a stressful days work without being in a foul mood and taking it out on herhusband, shoshur shashuri whatever shouldnt really go to work in the first place.

As for getting married my mum was only 18 and my gran 13 and they managed to get through life without divorces so really its the maturity and understanding that counts. I could get married now (by the way im only 17) and i know the right bloke would let me carry on with my studies even at degree level, because in return i would understand his needs, eg if his parents were to be ill then i would sty at home and nurse them till they get better. At the end of the day as a muslim girl and a daughter in law thats my moral duty.
So if i can love him enough to sacrifice a few things from my life im sure he could try and understand me as a woman and not think typically that i'd be going out for money instead of job satisfaction.

Went on a bit there, hope you caught my drift.

Khudahafez
Shilps

[koyes]

Shilpa

I certainly cough your drift, so much so I think i have pneumonia.
I did say,in certain situation i understand woman working. as long as they get their priorities right.

I am sure your mother did a wonderful job bringing you up even whilst working. Alhamdhullia.
You have to understand lot of other ppl couldnt cope with it.

My point is, if working puts pressure on family then its not worth it. Sometimes PPL can get so involved with their work they cant focus on other things, specially professionals like doctors and lawers, who work excessive extra hours and cant always come home at 5.

[Shilpa]

Yep family should always come first!!

Koyes just wondering does that mean you'd allow your wike to work?

[Wais_Islam]

On a related point I think Bangalis can be very backward sometimes when choosing a partners for their children. Things like which district a person is from, what class, who they are related to etc. when permanently resident abroad shouldnt in my opinion be too much of an issue if the couple seem to have similar interests and like each other. Many a times we find that parents do things that are against common decency and Islamic teachings, eg pressurising their children to marry the person whom only they think is right, or taking a girl back 'home' which she clearly does not see as the best place for marriage.

Islam gave women rights, and we should ensure that the chauvinistic minds give them their share of rights.