LAST PERSON TO POST HERE IS THE WINNER

[IRONMAN]

While on a car trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch.

After finishing their meal, the elderly woman left her glasses on the table, but she didn't miss them until they were back on the highway. By then, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around.

The elderly man fussed and complained all the way back to the restaurant. He called his wife every bad name he could think of.

When they finally arrived at the restaurant, as the woman got out of the car to retrieve her glasses, the man yelled to her, "While you're in there, you might as well get my hat, too."

[HOODED_LYRICIST]

LOl. Keep it up.

[IRONMAN]

There was a lady who at the very good age of 65 became pregnant.After the usual nine months, she had the baby, which caused a lot of curiosity among her friends. The ladies at the church could wait just so long and after a couple of weeks they went over to congratulate the new mother and to see the baby. The new mother was gracious, invited them in, and served tea and cookies. After about 10 minutes, the ladies asked if they could see the baby.

The mother replied, "No, not yet." So they had more tea and cookies and the ladies again asked, "Can we see the baby now?" to which the mother replied, "Not yet." Finally, one lady said she had to leave but asked one last time if she could see the baby, to which the mother again replied, "Not
yet."

Exasperated, another lady asked, "Well, why not?" The mother replied, "I'm waiting for it to cry. I forgot where I put it."

[IRONMAN]

A new business was opening and one of the owner's
friends wanted to send him flowers for the occasion.
They arrived at the new business site and the owner
read the card, "Rest in Peace".

The owner was angry and called the florist to complain.

After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake
and how angry he was, the florist replied, "Sir, I'm
really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting
angry, you should imagine this: somewhere there is a
funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with
a note saying, 'Congratulations on your new location'"

[IRONMAN]

An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of
caution. "You don't want to try these techniques at home."

"Why not?" asked somebody from the audience.

"I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the
expert explained. "She made lots of trips between the
refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying a
single item at a time. One day I told her, 'Hon, why don't
you try carrying several things at once?'"

"Did it save time?" the person in the audience asked.

"Actually, yes," replied the expert. "It used to take her 20 minutes to make breakfast. Now I do it in seven."

[IRONMAN]

There was an Irishman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Tasmania. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark.

Then there was this kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Irishman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Englishman had his hand against his face as he had been slapped there.

The Englishman was thinking: "The Irish fella must have kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead."

Claudia Schiffer was thinking: "The English fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Irishman and got slapped for it."

And the Irishman was thinking: "This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel I'll make another kissing noise and slap that English bastard again."

[IRONMAN]

Anna's mother has three daughters. The youngest is named Penny. The middle one is named Nickel. What is the name of the oldest daughter?
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A HINT : If you've gotten this far and you've been paying attention, but have you been paying attention to the right thing?
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The answer to this riddle is literally right before your eyes. (answer is at the bottom of this page......*s*..)
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Answer to the Riddle

The oldest daughter's name is Anna. Most people don't. They start paying more attention to the "currency-issue" (penny, nickel, dime, etc ) and forget that the very first word of the riddle was the answer.