What If Your Parent’s Aren’t Your Parent’s !?!

[Amar-Sonar-Bangla]

Every so often you hear of stories among Bangali’s, where a family has bought over a kid from back home as their own child. Typically a chachatobhai or nephew. It’s got to be hard on a kid to be torn away from it’s parent’s, family and all that it knows and call strangers ‘mom’ and ‘dad’. Can’t imagine how that’s done! All for the better life in the West.


Imagine if the kid was bought up to think that his ‘family’ were really his and then one day the bombshell drops! How would the kid feel about that, calling complete strangers back in Bangladesh, whom he hadn’t seen in years, ‘mom’ and ‘dad’?



I don’t reckon the relationship could ever be a normal one.

[samya]

Hiya......
oooooo thats scary having to imagine the whole thing......haven't heard of it so far.......except in films.....
probs others might know.......

Although I hav heard.....from a distant relative......that these couple adopted this child.....their nephew I think...then when he woz around 12/13 years old, he went bac home..........
they said these are your real parents call them 'amma n abba'...but he refused to do so........his been with his adopted relatives for so long.......that he simply cudn't believe it or didn't want to........

on the negative side though parents send their babies wiv other people........they don't seem to realise that the kid wud not love them as his/her own anymore.....
the real mum in b'desh actually cries for months now......jus wanting to hear the word 'MA' from his mouth.....

[SNOOP_KUTHA]

i dont know how ill react if i found out i was adopted.


were a close family, even the cousins, its one big unit, there allways around our house..were allways in contact...some of them are here right now....damn..its not worth thinkin about...i do sometimes think im adopted...coz im to handsome to be related to this family...joke lol


naa on a serious note, if i did find out i was adopted, id be sorta devastated but maybe not angry, just minds gna be filled with questions like "who's my real mum n dad..have i got real brothers and sisters etc etc"

the closest thing i can think of a situation like this happening is my aafon mama's family, basically my oldest mama and his family are living in bangladesh, he sent his second oldest son with my second oldest mama to this country....and his been living with them before i think his teen years..basically came here as a kid....called his sasa dad..his sasi mum and was raised as there own...but then things happened ..and my second oldest mama kept having arguments with him...so now his moved out and living with his sister and her husband in birmingham

I think as he grew up he realised he wasnt there son, and they treated him differently to the other kids and once reality sets in...it is upsettin for the person concerned.

[Amar-Sonar-Bangla]

I think that sort of adoption scenario is just messed up! The kid ends up having an estranged and superficial relationship to his/her mother, father, uncle, aunt and cousin's. It's like living a lie.



Who am I to talk, maybe they are better off than living in Bangladesh? I guess we none of us can condemn since it hasn't happened to us personally. It's different when speaking about others, even distant reletives.



Kinda' makes one have sabr and thank allah (SWT) for what one does have.


I think Samya made a good point. People back home don't think. People in Bangladesh just think the streets of London are paved with gold. They don't see the hard work that goes into living and working in this country. For them 'bideshi's' are just fabulous people who come and bring lot's of presents and money with them when the visit Bangladesh.

Originally posted by SNOOP_KUTHA

i do sometimes think im adopted...coz im to handsome to be related to this family...joke lol

You sure it isn't the other way around?



Nah, I sometimes tease my nephew's and niece's with the line 'we found you under a taal gass.' lol

Kidz are so trusting!

[samya]

my sasa tells me that he is my real father....my real mum lives in Singapore!!!....he also mentions that he'll reveal the truth on my wedding day........aaaaaaaaa I only his jokin but wen i woz younger he used to tease me alot more!! ....

My bruv goes the same as u ASB..that he found me n sis crying under a bridge in b'desh........!!!

[Amar-Sonar-Bangla]

Originally posted by samya


My bruv goes the same as u ASB..that he found me n sis crying under a bridge in b'desh........!!!

How do you know, your bro's not right?


Singapori Samya!! Singapori Samya!!


Maybe your real name is Freshie Begum......

[amee_patla_na]

thats my friend...

she joined bcom, dono where shes off to now.

tho it wasnt her family who adopted her. it was a canadian family. and she knew she was adopted the whole way thru coz she loox so diff from her parents. i asked her how she was with it, and she said shed rather b here and adopted than living in poverty back in bd

i think i would want to adopt. bcoz if i wana have a kid anyway, instead of creating a whole new life, why not allow another kid, who already has life, but is living in not-too-nice circumstances to live properly? i think its a good idea. hopefully, in the long run, the kid'll b greatful. hope my hubby agrees...infact...he better...