Warning Labels

[Zulfi]

Warnings (G)
Genuine instructions found on goods sold in shops.

* On some frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost.

* On a hotel provided shower cap in a box: Fits one head.

* On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on the bottom of the box)Do not turn upside down.

* On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating.

* On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body.

* On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery.

* On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness.

* On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use.

* On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts.

* On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

* On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.

* On a child's superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.

[Zulfi]

On a blanket from Taiwan - NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.

On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists - REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.

On a Taiwanese shampoo - USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.

On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink - AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.

On a New Zealand insect spray - THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.

In a US guide to setting up a new computer - TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM
TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING. (Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)

On a Japanese product used to relieve painful haemorrhoids -
LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE PROJECTED PORTION LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES, KEEP QUIET.

In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles - OPEN OTHER END.

On a Sears hairdryer - DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.

On a bag of Fritos - YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE. (The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap - DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP.

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding - PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING.

On a Korean kitchen knife - WARNING KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN.

On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights - FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY

[burns]

in instruction manual for Hoover vacume cleaner, "Do not use to provide suction to genitals"

[Marawak_Bhai]

Originally posted by burns
in instruction manual for Hoover vacume cleaner, "Do not use to provide suction to genitals"

Scary Movie is a good movie innit?