If you Bored>>Read These Jokes~ RaTeD

[urban_diva]

How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
Give him a used tampon and ask him what period it came from.



What do a bungee jump and a Hooker have in common?
They're both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you're dead.



A man dies and goes to Hell. The devil offers to personally escort the man around so he can choose the section of hell he would like to be in. The first section has everybody being burned constantly and getting a glass of water every 7 hours. The second section has everybody working hard and getting a glass of water every three hours. The last section has everybody kneedeep in crap.
"Well, this doesn't look too bad -- and it beats being burned or working. I'll take the crap."

"Okay," says the devil. "Everybody back on their heads."



What is a 6.9?
A 69 interupted by a period.



A man goes to his doctor and says, ''Doctor, Doctor, please help me! I've got a problem.'' The doctor examines the man and finds the man has a red ring around his penis. The doctor gives him an ointment to rub on the problem area.
''It's all cleared up!'' the man reports when he returns. ''But what was that medication you gave me?''

''Lipstick remover.''



A guy is walking along the beach, when he meets a girl with no legs, crying.
"Why are you crying?" he asks.

"I've never been hugged," she says. The guy hugs her, but she continues crying.

"Why are you crying?" he asks.

"I've never been kissed," she says. The guy kisses her, but she continues crying.

"Why are you crying?" he asks.

"I've never been screwed," she says. The guy picks her up and throws her into the water.

"There," he says. "Now you're screwed."



One man says, ''You mean they are still together after all that crap?''
The other man says, ''Who?''

First man says, ''Your butt cheeks!''