Jokes! 4 pple wiv a sense of humor!?

[Killa_Kay]

There woz this old lady who went 2 the doctor to improve her husbands sex drive,
The Doctor said "have you tried viagra?" the old lady replied
"My husband won't even take an asprin 4 a headache" the Doctor then said
"Put it in his coffee when he is'nt looking and come back after a week and tell me how it went."
After a week went by the old lady came back 2 see the doctor, the Doctor said
"how did it go" the old lady replied
"terrible doctor, terrible" the Doctor then said
"why? what happened, wasn't the sex good?"
"Not that, it was the best sex I've had in 25 years" ,
"What is it then?"
the old lady then said

"well, I did what you said and instantly he threw me on the table and started
ripping off my clothes and was having sex"

"Then whats wrong?" the Doctor asked

The old lady said
"Well it's just that I can't show my face in that McDonalds ever again!"

[annie]

thats really funny. do u know any more jokes?

[samina]

A carrot was talking to a pickle and a dick.
The carrot says I have a hard life, people buy
me and shave me and eat me.

The pickle said oh yeah, I used to be a cucumber
and they cooked me and flavored me and I can get
eaten too!

Oh yeah, says the dick, well I get a plastic bag
over my head everyday and then they make me do
pushups till I barf.

[PRINCE_SAQI]

There are three engineers in a car; an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer and a Microsoft engineer. Suddenly the car just stops by the side of the road, and the three engineers look at each other wondering what could be wrong.
The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the electronics of the car and trying to trace where a fault might have occurred. The chemical engineeer, not knowing much about cars, suggests that maybe the fuel is becoming emulsified and getting blocked somewhere.

Then, the Microsoft engineer, not knowing much about anything, comes up with a suggestion, "Why don`t we close all the windows, get out, get back in, open the windows again, and maybe it`ll work !?"

[samina]

A teach of a third grade class comes into school
Monday morning and asks her students to use their
new vocabulary word, "fascinate", in a sentence.
Little Suzette raises her hand and says, "Last
week my parents and I went to the zoo and we were
fascinated by the polar bears." The teacher said,
"That’s good Suzette, but I wanted you to use the
word fascinate."

Little Mike raises his hand and says, "Last week
my parents went to Wal-mart and were fascinated
by all the great deals." The teacher says,
"That’s good Mike, but you were supposed to use
the word fascinate."

Next, little Johnny raises his hand and the
teacher was a little slow to call on him cause
she knows how bad Johnny's mouth was. She thinks
for a minute, and then decides there is no way
that he can corrupt the word fascinate. She then
calls on Johnny. Little Johnny yells out, "My
sister has a sweater with 10 buttons, but her
tits are so big she can only fasten eight."

[PRINCE_SAQI]

An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing.

A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready.

"All set back here, Captain," came the reply, "except one lawyer who is still going around passing out business cards."

[samina]

Bill, Bob and Bernie are discussing their
wives´Christmas presents.

This year, "I'm buying my wife a necklace and
a scarf. That way if she doesen't like the
necklace she can cover it with the scarf", says
Bill.

Bob Says "I'm getting mine a ring and a pair of
gloves. So if she doesn´t like the ring she can
cover it with the gloves".

Bernie says: "I'm buying my wife a hat and a
dildo, if she doesnt like the hat, she can go
**** herself!"