Wellcome aboard Sabina! May you have hours of reading pleasure reading the hunky dories posted at this site.
Anyway, all respect to Rupali who i believe has posted some excellent advice.
Marriage is a very complicated issue and many factors and forces come into play, and is not something that should be taken lightly or done irrationally.
It is very important that as a male or female we become apt with our own personality. Meaning that with most of us our personalities fluctuate like the british weather and it is very important that we ourselves are able to generate an understanding of ourself.
Secondly, as Bangladeshi's (happy butterfly I said Bangladeshi) we seem to be very reserved and conservative in matters of marriage and many of us do not start thinking of marriage until mum & Dad puts through the proposition. I think it is important that those who are at their marriageable age should reflect upon the kind of partner they would be suited to. By understanding yourself first will allow this determination to be done.
It is of regret that many of our Bangladeshi parents are very extreme in matters of culture and they neglect many aspects of the Islamic creed.
Marriage is a Sunnah of the Prophet(PBUH) and is prescribed upon people who are in a position to do so.
Allah created men and women so that they can provide company to one another, love one another, procreate children and live in peace and tranquility to the commandments of Allah.
The prophet (pbuh) said that a person may marry for four reasons a.money, b. nobility, c.physical appeal or d.piousness and he recommended that the latter is exercised.
Al-Islam does not prevent a female choosing a partner or vice versa. And is of outmost importance that parents give due regard to the choice of their son or daughter. However, this should be done in a halal way and not be taken as evidence for free mixing.
YOU MAY BE AWARE THAT KHADIJAH PROPOSED TO PROPHET MUHAMMED (PBUH) AND NOT THE OTHER WAY ROUND. Perhaps you should tell your parents this.
If a girl finds a suitable husband she has the right to offer her feelings to her parents which may be done through someone although some who are more relaxed with their parents may be able to do this themselves.
In many instances parents reject this kind of offer being that the son or daughter may be amongst those who show immaturity to the parents, hence a suggestion that they are incapable of marriage at the given time or incapable of choosing for themselves.
It is therefore important that (I) we build a character with our parents of someone who is capable of making choices beneficial for ourselves and (II) try and bridge gaps between us and our parents.
If it so happens that a proposal is brought from Bangladesh, there is no reason to refuse this on this very ground.
Every occasion should be used to reason and deduce. Analyse..... Why do you think that marriage to a non-Bangladesh residing Bangladeshi be a better option.
In fact, there are many westernised sisters i've known who have a found a more loyal and lovable partner from back home. This offcouse does not mean every case is the same.
Essentially, you know yourself better than anyone else and hence is paramount that if it were the case you should ask yourelf what kind of partner would suit you. But, you should judge every case according to its merits and not be biased towards its origin.
If it so happens that you are being forced, which is totally unIslamic, then again it is your responsibility that you make your parents aware of the errors manifest.
If there is anyone out there who needs help and lives in the London, England (not Canada) area, I would advice that you see someone such as Sheikh Abdul-Qayyum who is the Imam of the East London Mosque. I have known him to intercede for many who have been in difficult situations.
there is no one answer................
heesham
Ayyuhal Ikhwa "IththakULLAH hakka thukathihi wala thamuthunna illa wa anthum MUSLIMOON"
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